10 Tips for Improving Marriages

I feel so incredibly blessed, some may call it lucky,
to have chosen the right spouse and to have such an amazing marriage.
However, I believe it takes a lot of effort from both individuals as well.
Here are 10 Good Ideas for a Happy Marriage,
of course modeled after ours!!

1. WE LAUGH a lot and really enjoy one another’s humor and personalities!  We are BEST FRIENDS! We love spending time with each other, truly care for each other, and genuinely like one another!
1a. We TRUST one another and this is huge.  Building trust is important and can be done in many ways.  Keeping one another’s secrets or concerns to ourselves is huge.  Sharing ours with our spouse is also a biggie!

2. We make a conscious effort at putting each others needs before our own. Making sure they are cared for first, before ourselves.

3. We DO SPECIAL THINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER.  Thinking of what the other may really like and doing what we can to make that possible.  This is commonly referred to as “Showing Your Love For One Another.”  You know, the little things really do matter, and do them often.  Your spouse will appreciate you for your CONSTANT efforts and will generally reciprocate them! WE LEAVE NICE NOTES or even send text messages to each other.  Sometimes, we will be sitting right next to one another and receive a text message that was just sent.  It is sweet and thoughtful, in my opinion.

4. WE TALK and WE LISTEN.  Now this is a big one.  We ask each other questions, not just about every day living, but about our dreams, goals, and ambitions.  We talk about what we enjoy, good books we’ve read, funny things we’ve seen or heard, our frustrations, our joys, we even talk about business.   And We Listen to the Responses and don’t let all the outside noise take away from our important opportunity to hear exactly what each other is saying.  We talk about our roles and understand where one another stands in respect to our family.  Good Communication in a relationship is key to a Happy Marriage!  It’s also nice to talk about how and when we feel loved, so the other person will know how to share that type of love with us.5. We BUILD up one another with kind words or deeds.  Be a builder in your relationship, not a destroyer.  Find things about your significant other that are special, or that you’re especially attracted to, or that is unique to them and then let them know how wonderful or great they really are and WHY you feel that way.  This can be done with verbal words, or loving glances, through letters, gifts, and through hugs and kisses too.  I know a wife who rubs her husbands feet a few times a week, and as she does, she expresses to him how much she appreciates his hard work and the fact that he must work on his feet all day.  (Now that is really sweet…not happening here, but it works for them and it’s just sweet!)

6.WE ARE ACCEPTING.  When we came to our relationship, there were quite a few differences between the two of us.  I am a very high energy person and walk and talk quickly.  My husband has a laid-back,  relaxed confidence about himself, so he walks slower and talks slower than I do.  I take my dishes to the sink as soon as I am done with them, he waits until he is ready.  I like the toilet seat down, and he believes it is easier to leave it up.  However, through all of our differences, we have learned to compromise, but more importantly, ACCEPT each other and our differences!  I have some friends who love each other dearly, but when it comes to politics, they have come to the understanding that they each believe differently and leave it alone.  I have other friends who are that same way with their preferred religions.  The point is, there will be things that we can’t change, but if we truly love our significant other, then we will accept them for exactly who they are.

7. WE RESPECT ONE ANOTHER.  This goes along ways.  Even in those moments when we disagree, we still respect one another and don’t cause harm to one another verbally or physically.  We also don’t leave the room and become emotionally disconnected.  We stay until the problem is resolved or accept one another’s point of view.  (We have even adopted the “agree to disagree” point of view as well.)  Something that goes along with this, is to take a good look at ourselves and maybe see if there are some adjustments we can make to our attitudes or egos.  This is like taking a bite of humble pie, putting our ego to the side and becoming authentic with who we are being, and sometimes making small adjustments just for the sake of our relationship.

8. WE APOLOGIZE.  Often times when feelings are hurt we find ourselves apologizing, even when we feel we are not in the wrong.  This demonstrates that we value our relationship over our need to be right.

9. WE HAVE COMMON GOALS.  Basically, we are both headed in the same direction with the same goals in mind.  This gives us some common ground to build on.  And we each have individual goals as well, which we do our best at supporting each other at accomplishing those goals.  If I want to pick up running, my sweet husband will find time when he can be with our kiddos, so I have the time to pursue my goals.

10. WE TRULY LOVE ONE ANOTHER.  This takes place outside of our bedroom as well as inside our bedroom.  For many couples, this time is very important to building their relationship.  It is an intimate time between the two of you and a key component during this time is good communication between partners.  Knowing what you like, prefer, and how often each of you would like to engage in this type of activity is very helpful.  The lack of communication in this department can sometimes end up in frustration between one another as well.  Other types of physical contact are; Holding Hands on walks, on the couch, and in the car.  Back rubs without other expectations, or a hug and kiss unexpectedly, and just gently touching each other as you walk by. (These things don’t have to stop just because the HoneyMoon Stage may be over)  LOVING your partner isn’t just about the intimacy, it’s about the nine points I shared before.  Truly having their best interest in mind, having the desire to make their life wonderful, following through with the actions it takes, and just loving in every way we can.

The most important thing that we have come to understand, is that building our relationship takes consistent effort, but it is so worth the happiness and joy we experience because of it.  Not to mention, We GET TO GROW OLD TOGETHER, and it doesn’t get any better than that!!

Also… there is this adorable little couple from Dallas.
They have this little (love) blog.
And they have shared this little post,
{10 Things} That Have Made All The Difference,
in their marriage.
And, I pretty much loved the post so much, that I wanted to share it with you too!
I believe, that if your relationship is important to you,
then you will strive to find ways to KEEP it that way!
And, well….mine is and I super duper hope your’s is too!